Dating can start in many ways. You meet someone at work, and get to know them slowly over a long time. You meet someone at a bar, and get to know the quickly in the space of a few hours! However you meet someone, what makes a friendship turn into a relationship is the physical contact. The only difference between your best friend, and your best friend with benefits, is that you are physically intimate with them. You hook up with them, and you sleep with them. I want to talk about why starting with sex is a great idea, because all good relationships begin with sex, which is where all causal dating starts from.
When does a relationship start?
It is worth noting, that a relationship “starts” at the point where the physical intimacy begins. Before there is physical contact, it is not a relationship, it is just a friendship. Once you kiss, you have crossed the line into being something more than that. So when I say a relationship starts with sex, I mean that sex happens at a very early stage – at the starting point.
Why having sex early paves the way for success
Most people end up (ultimately) in a monogamous relationship. This means that the only person that you can have sex with, is your partner. People are so different, and have very different sexual preferences, likes, desires and needs. Some people are more sexually compatible that others. If you end up in the unfortunate situation that you are emotionally committed to someone that you are sexually incompatible with, you are in trouble. You are now between a rock and a hard place. You can either keep the relationship knowing that you will never have a good time in bed, or you have to ditch out on the relationship purely for reasons of being sexually unsatisfied. The former usually ends in unhappiness or in cheating, the latter leaves you without the person you have invested time and energy into. It never ends well.
However, if you start the relationship with sex, then you know from the outset if you are sexually compatible. This does not mean that you are going to be able to have a long term relationship, but it does mean that if something long term transpires, you can be confident that the sex will be good for the long term.
Casual dating sets things up right
Many people who are casual dating are not looking for anything long term, they are simply looking for something for the now, or something with no strings attached for other reasons. For those people, if it does happen to grow into something more, then they have started on the right foot.
For the people that are looking for something long term, I think that casual dating is something that also works. By starting with sex, you are setting yourself up for success. You are beginning with one of the elements that you should never compromise in a relationship – a satisfying sex life.
Start with sex. Start with casual dating.