How to converting casual dating to being a couple

Whether you are just looking for a hook up, a fling, to find a fuck buddy or to meet someone for a longer term relationship, casual dating is a great place to start. It allows you to meet someone in a low-pressure environment, to really be yourself whilst in the dating process. This, in turn, means that when you get on with someone, it really is genuine. They are not pretending to like you or get on with you due to any kind of fake persona that you have projected. They like you for whomever you are.

The surprising thing about this is that this can lead to you hanging out with someone casually, that you could happily spend more time with. It can lay the groundwork for a really great partner for a longer term relationship.


How casual dating can lead to a great partner

There are key things that we all want in a partner, and these are things that are often deal breakers. If we don’t find them in a partner, it is likely that the partnership will end. In “normal” dating these things are often addressed quite far down in the relationship, however, in casual dating, they are addressed early on, which really does “set you up for success”.

Sexual compatibility is an important deal breaker. With casual dating, you have sex early on, and if it turns out that you are not compatible, you can walk away easily, before you have invested that much into the relationship. I do know people that have had 10+ year long monogamous relationships with people, only to end it because the sex was not right for them. Had they realised early on, before they felt bound by the investment into the relationship, they could have saved both of them a lot of wasted time!

Early exposure to deal breakers is another important factor. Due to the large pool of people to date in the casual dating field, it is very easy to be honest about whatever your deal breakers are. Perhaps you are vegetarian and that’s important to you. Maybe you do or don’t want kids. Perhaps you are obsessed with skiing, whatever it is! You find that out early, which again, sets you up for success.


Converting 'casual dating' into being 'a couple'

Once you have established that you are a good match, which is something that can happen quite naturally through the casual dating process, the conversion is really easy if you want to do it. The hardest thing when it comes to being a good couple, is making a good choice at the point of selection. The key question is: have you found the right person in them, as much as they have found the right person in you? 80% of a good relationship happens in the selection. Since you have done the hard part through using the casual dating arena, the next bit is easy. All you have to do is to be honest. Tell the person that you would like to date them monogamously, and this next bit is really important, tell them why you want to do this. If you express why, they are highly likely to say yes.


Have fun finding the person (or people) that you are looking for.

  benefits of casual dating, long term relationships & casual dating